hotel room ftw
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
