yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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