My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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