my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
