Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
