So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
