Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
