Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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