It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
