I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Drunk is not a location!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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