This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
