batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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