My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
