What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
