I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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