The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
