they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
