Im at strip club and am horny
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
