But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Randomize
