his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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