Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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