How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
