is your mom at the bar?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
