the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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