I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
