i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
