a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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