I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
