He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
