like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
