So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
