And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
