he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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