EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
