He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I still have a little drunk in my system
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Don't tell me you're on acid again
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
