At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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