Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
