Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it glows. i had to have it.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
