I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
