i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
