i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
We got so high we made milksteak
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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