The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
