I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
