i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
