Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
