when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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