so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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