I feel like abortions should bother me more
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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