I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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