i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
