Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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