you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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