Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
